down to one. again.

The last month has been a blur. I’ve been working a lot, and haven’t had the time or energy to blog – or to do much edating. But a lot has been happening in edater-land in spite of that.

The short version:  

After a brief bout of being down about the online dating universe, I took my own advice on rejection flooding and sent out a bunch of emails on a couple of sites. Two looked very promising. And one continues to look that way. In fact, we’re getting ready for date #4. (I *very* rarely get to date #4.) He’s a nice reminder that dating should be fun!

More to come….

slowing down.

I’m not planning any more first dates for a bit. I’m a bit tired. (Both of meeting new people and from working too hard.) I am, however, waiting to see what happens with two different guys. One I saw for a second time last night. I really like him! At least, what I’ve seen so far. Seems smart, intense, kind, and is a good listener and easy to be with. He’s a little harder for me to read than most, so I’m not sure what’s up on his side. The other I’ll see for a second time tomorrow. He’s coming to a group event that two of my single female friends will be at, as well. I’m not sure whether it’s underhanded or altruistic, but I’m actually kind of excited to see how he gets along with them, as I’m not sure but that he might be a better match for one of them. Who knows, though. If I’ve learned nothing else in my decades on earth, it’s that life can evolve in unexpected ways.

Just taking it a day at a time.

in my defense.

Okay readers. Sometimes edater might exaggerate, just a tad, with the intent of amusing her readers. So don’t judge me too harshly because of the previous post. I didn’t take it too seriously, and hopefully neither do you.

One of the comments compared me to Ally McBeal. Me! I mean, even I have my limits! ;-)

update on that almost-missed connection

So. Had a lovely hike yesterday afternoon with that almost-missed connection from this post. After 3 hours, we were back at our cars, and thinking we were done, we scheduled something for Friday night. (I rarely want a date #3 with my e-dates, so a big woohoo for making it this far. ) After affirming that this would, indeed, be the plan, we then spent another 3 hours by the car (finally moving to a picnic table nearby) talking and laughing, and never quite getting around to leaving. Fun! In fact, we almost missed the evening gate closing of the regional park – got out with 5 minutes to spare. Always a good sign when it’s hard to leave.

As an interesting aside, my mom gets updated on this online-dating process from time to time, and she developed a particular attachment to this one immediately after our first date. I guess we’ll all eventually see if she has superior predictive skills. He did do something before our first date for which he got serious points (and perhaps this was what she liked): when we were setting up where to meet, he sent a link with directions from my city to the restaurant where we were meeting in his. Most dates just send the address of the restaurant and assume I can mapquest it, which is a safe assumption. I can. But it was super thoughtful of him to make that extra effort. Remember, as you go about your e-dating business, that we e-dater types don’t have that many cues from which to judge potential matches, so these little signals of thoughtfulness are really important as possible character indicators.

a little too flippant?

A friend of mine who reads this blog suggested that it sounds like I “go through men like a machine.” Well, kind of. I mean, I’m just looking for the right one, and I’m trying to do so as efficiently as possible. I’m in my 30s. I’m settled in my career. I’m not confused about who I am or what I want, in life or in my long-term relationship. (Geez, I remember being in my mid-20s and trying to figure out how to balance career desires and relationship. It was confusing! But I’ve worked through that. Took me years!) Now I’m settled (not to be confused with boring), and I want a partner to accompany me on this wonderful adventure called life, and I want 2 or 3 kids before I’m too tired to keep up with them. So while I mean this blog to be funny, (I mean, why e-date if you can’t entertain your friends with the stories!), it doesn’t mean I take the process of finding a partner lightly. I’m just looking for the right one.

my return to computer-assisted match-making.

Last spring, after almost 8 years of dating the same fabulous man on and off, we *finally* realized that what we each wanted out of life was just not the same. I live near the Bay Area of California (about an hour from SF, Berkeley, Palo Alto, etc.), but the actual ground where I’m planted is a bit, uh, unfertile when it comes to the kind of man I like, so I turned to e-dating. And it turned out to be more fun than those sim games that have sucked me in for days at a time, or those trashy prime-time soap operas, and similar to both. In fact, I’ve noticed that I watch less TV when I’m e-dating. And a techie friend volunteered to write me an interface for one of the sites that would allow me to use a gun instead of a mouse. Similar, see?

This is actually my second e-dating round this year.  My first entry into the field quickly yielded a 3-month relationship that ended gently. During that first round, I discovered a quirk of PhDs. We all managed to find a reason to send a scholarly article within the first few email exchanges. No scientific sample, here, but almost ALL OF US engaged in this bizarre mating ritual. wtf? Nothing like seeing oneself in the mirror of the other to provide incentive to modify one’s own behavior.

so I don’t bore my friends to death…

Okay. I give. I’ll do it. I’ll blog my adventures on the e-dating scene and save my friends from having to listen, and listen, and listen, to my stories. Ah, the stories. What an odd adventure, this modern form of match-making. For now, to bed. But soon, dear reader, soon, you can read all about it.